Have you ever felt like it is about time to change your life? Has it ever hit you at some point in your life that all what you did in your past has absolutely nothing to do with what's coming and that you have to start over differently? That's exactly how I feel now at the end of four wonderful years in college and the beginning of my so-called "career". I hate to admit it but I think I'm scared. what scares me is not just the huge amount of questions popping up from every corner of my brain about what to do next. what really scares me is the simple terrifying fact that I don't seem to be able to answer any of them!!!

I am sorry I didn’t look you in the eye,
I wouldn’t have beared seeing somebody else looking through the eyes I long knew. Nothing hurts more than seeing a person you used to know and love change into somebody you can’t recognize.

I am sorry I didn’t say hello,
It hurts me to watch our warm, from-the heart greetings be reduced into a single, meaningless, lifeless, level-toned hello, uttered merely because dictated by the social context.

I am sorry I couldn’t smile like before,
Smiling would have meant pretending that nothing at all is wrong. You know I am not good at pretending. Nothing between us is like before, so why should I be?

I am sorry I didn’t hug you back,
I am just not as good at social compliments as you are. I can’t hug a person or even hug back unless I really miss the person. You have been away so long that I got used to your absence.

I am sorry we had to come to this dead end,
Friendship to you is an emergency exit that you use when your life isn’t just as exciting as usual. Friendship to me is a deep connection, an everlasting oath of care and support that outweights anything else.

I am sorry I can’t be your friend anymore,
I refuse to be a back up plan, an alternative solution, a low priority item on your busy schedule. I can’t care with less than all my heart, and I can’t accept less than being similarly cared for in return.

Marchbanks: I go about in search of love; and I find it in unmeasured stores in the bosoms of others. But when I try to ask for it, this horrible shyness strangles me; and I stand dumb, or worse than dumb, saying meaningless things: foolish lies. And I see the affection I am longing for given to dogs and cats and pet birds, because they come and ask for it. It must be asked for; it is like a ghost: it cannot speak unless it is first spoken to. All the love in the world is longing to speak; only it dare not, because it is Shy! Shy! Shy!

Proserpine: Wicked people get over that shyness occasionally, don’t they?

Marchbanks: Wicked people means people who have no love; therefore they have no shame. They have the power to ask love because they don’t need it; they have the power to offer it because they have none to give. But we, who have love, and long to mingle it with the love of others; we cannot utter a word. You find that, don’t you?

Proserpine: Look here if you don’t stop talking like this, I’ll leave the room, Mr. Marchbanks: I really will. It is not proper.

Marchbanks: Nothing that’s worth saying is proper. I can’t understand you, Miss Garnett. What am I to talk about?

Proserpine: Talk about indifferent things. Talk about the weather.

Marchbanks: Would you talk about indifferent things if a child were nearby, crying bitterly with hunger?

Proserpine: I suppose not.

Marchbanks: Well: I can’t talk about indifferent things with my heart crying out bitterly in its hunger.

Proserpine: Then hold your tongue.

Marchbanks: Yes: that is what it always comes to. We hold our tongues. Does that stop the cry of your heart? For it does cry: doesn’t it? It must, if you have a heart.

[ Candida, by Bernard Shaw, Act II]

We spend our lives trying to make sense of our lives, and we often die without finding out what is it that life means. Is life really about getting all you can get, no matter how you get it? Is money worth losing a best friend? Is the glory of stealing other peoples’ lands one that is worth killing thousands of soldiers for? Is fame worth losing one’s principles and one’s self respect? You are free to say yes, but I would say NO.

This is a story I read when I was ten, and I loved it ever since. I'll leave it to you to decide what is the moral of it. Aaah, and you may get alitle bored at the beginning, but never mind, it's not that the story is boring, it's because I'm a lousy story teller. Carry on.. you may like it eventually!

Once upon a time, the sun and the moon had a huge fight and decided never to see each other again. The sun made up her mind to appear at day-time, and the moon thought it better to appear at night, so that his daughters, the moon fairies, would not talk to the sun fairies, the sons of the sun.

One morning, a sun fairy was wandering around in the fields, when he heard a nightangale singing a lovely song. The song was about a moon fairy, whose beauty and grace outdid all other moon fairies. The sun fairy had never seen a moon fairy before, and although his mother had repeatedly warned him and his fairy brothers not to come closer to any moon fairy, the sun fairy couldn’t suppress his curiosity to know more. So, he asked the nightangale to tell him about moon fairies, and to explain to him what made this particular one special. The nightanagle started to tell the sun fairy everything and the sun fairy listened to him, feeling a strange yearn to see this moon fairy. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining her, how she walks, how she talks, how she smiles.. But the sun was now setting, and he had to hurry up to his golden ladder back to his mother, the sun.

Next morning, the sun fairy came down his golden ladder to earth as usual, but this time, he had made up his mind to stay on earth a little longer to see the moon fairy. He spent his day between listening to the nightangale singing songs about her, and waiting impatiently for the sun to begin to set. Finally, the sun began to set and the silver ladders started to appear. Climbing down them were the most delicate of creatures. Light sparkled all around their long, silver hair as their small feet touched the earth. The sun fairy watched them, wondering what the harm of talking to such lovely creatures could be.

Then came she, and the sun fairy understood why the nightangale was singing especially for her. Everything about her seemed different, special, and incredibly beautiful even though she looked more or less like the others. He could not decide what the difference was, he could not even think anymore, except of maybe talking to her. Breathlessly he watched as she floated like an angel, his mind torn between his desire to talk to her and his fear to scare her off. He couldn’t wait any longer, the sun was already going down, and his ladder would soon be broken against the earth. He had to do something, quickly.

“Hello!” he said, in a voice he tried as much as he could to keep steady.
Startled, she turned. Then suspiciously she asked “what do you want?”
“I love you” he said, honestly.
“but you are a sun fairy, we can never be together”
“Says who?”
“Says your mother and my father, you have to go up now or your ladder will be broken”
“I can't go up now that I found you, I can't leave you and I won’t,I will stay here.. with you”
“but you will die if you stay away from the sun!”
“I don’t care.. I just want to be with you”
“but I care, I don’t want any harm to come to you, please go up now before it’s too late”

But it was already too late, the little golden ladder was broken into two pieces that fell to the ground, scattering into thousands of pieces, and the sun disappeared. The moon fairy sat on a plain white ugly rock and cried. But the sun fairy whipped away her tears and told her to cheer up, for they have the whole night to themselves. Then, hand in hand, they walked together in the woods, telling stories, laughing at silly jokes, and singing songs with the nightangale, until it was almost dawn. The moon fairy was now supposed to go back to the moon, but she insisted to stay on earth with him, and never to leave him. Her silver ladder too was broken against the earth, but she cared little about that. “ I have the whole world in my hands” she said to the sun fairy “ I have you”

It was time for the sun to appear. But the sun, angry at her son for defying her, refused to appear and hid behind clouds. The weather started to be cloudy and cold. The clouds, gathering together, poured down the rain. Quickly the lovers climbed over the nightangale to get them to the nearest shelter. They flew and flew, until they found that white ugly rock the moon fairy once cried on. They hid inside it from the cold and the rain and the nightangale left them to go to its nest. Now both getting weak, they held each other tight inside the small rock for warmth and security. It rained all day, and it only stopped at sunset. The nightangale quickly went to the rock to check on them , but they were gone. The two lovers disppeared, leaving behind rays of bright light, twinkling and sparkling and turning the little ugly rock into a beautifully colourful stone. Afterwards, Man found this stone and called it the opal.